This year, my theme is flow –
I want to be present and open to the people and situations I meet each day, but sometimes, my old behavior patterns get in the way. So, this year I’m setting some fresh goals.
An open invitation to set fresh goals.
We are designed to grow and change, but face it, change is hard. We don’t like the pain involved with change. But surprisingly, the pain involved in breaking old patterns is temporary and the intensity eases over time. Even the “fear of pain” loses strength when we know it’s short-lived. So, the “fear of change” transforms into an invitation. Find something better. Explore something new.
Opportunity and possibility feel much better than fear of change. So, I’ve set some fresh goals: to interact without controlling or dragging my feet (a sneaky form of controlling) and to practice detaching because I get snagged so quickly by problems.
No More Control
“Control” isn’t the answer – there are so many things we can’t control. We can’t control people, events, or how things turn out. Controlling even our own lives isn’t possible. Forcing solutions – i.e., forcing something to work that isn’t working – is also not possible. So instead of forcing, I’m choosing to pause and look up. Something better might be just around the corner, and I want to see it. I want to be open to opportunities that are possible.
More on Detaching
Detachment is something that confused me at first. I thought I had to detach from people. But now I know I can detach from behavior patterns that frustrate me because they don’t work. For example…
- Detach from forcing solutions – Today, I’m going to do my best and walk away. I can come back later if it needs more attention. I can ask for help, or I can turn this over to someone better qualified. I can ask, “Am I trying to solve a problem that no longer exists?”
- Detach from frustration – I’ve found that saying out loud, “I am frustrated because I cannot make this process work,” decreases frustration. This line right-sizes my expectations. That’s very helpful because I get caught up in unrealistic expectations.
- Detach from jumping to conclusions – Instead, I’ll get to wondering. What unmet need is surfacing here? Is there another way to meet this need or to approach this situation? I can look for a simpler way. I can take the time I need. Very few things require urgency. When I’m caught up in urgency, my decisions aren’t the best. We can take the time we need!
Finding Flow
A friend of mine once said that she imagines her life as a boat flowing along unimpeded with the current of God’s life-giving will. That’s how she discovers the adventure of living. I like that. I’m trying it on for size. I’m going to watch what happens and look with fresh eyes – there is always something new, gleaming in the fresh sun.
